change

I cant figure out what makes people change
why one incident could completely reshape peoples lives and the way they see the world,
their ideals.
a friend of mine upon breaking up with his long-time lover became careless with his life
choosing friends in a very selfish and reckless way
he surrounds himself with people who tear him down
yet he says he is happy
his situation in life hasn’t changed in the 4 years since I had last seen him
yet he says he is happy
but when I look into his eyes I can see a sadness permeating his thoughts, enveloping his dreams.
I can see that his newfound wild ways are a mask to cover up the shame and guilt he feels.all because he broke up with his girlfriend

I started thinking of all the people I know, who have had changes like this.
all of them seem to stem from one moment… one situation, one choice that changed their lives forever
people who despised drugs and their users, going off with one person, for one night, and coming home loving lsd
friends who had beautiful girlfriends… going to a movie with a group of people… and coming home gay
friends who become drunks because they loose their jobs, their girl, or their home.
but they all say they are happy
and they may be

the thought that perplexes me is… at what point does change cease to be “freeing” and begin to be “careless”?
people who have no money spending hours in a bar
people who live with their parents, who don’t save money, have no job.
middle aged tumbleweeds blowing in the infinite ghost town