Anderson has a new tradition, ‘Downtown Sounds’. Every Thursday the city blocks off Courthouse Square and invites a local band to play. This Thursday James, Dj, Jess, April, Nick, and I decided that we would go there and meet up with a girl James has his eye on. After listening to some horrid so-called ‘jazz’ for a couple of hours, we migrated to Corbitts, where I ended up with a massive headache.

I decided to go home and take some aspirin…

That was my first mistake.

After taking a few aspirin I got online to check my email, I was greeted by Mike, Jonquils…. em… boyfriend-exboyfriend-guy-thing.

The conversation went as follows:

(Paraphrased)
Mike: dude who did you write this post in your blog about?
Me: I wrote it about (person who is not Jonquil…. but whom I will not name).

Mike: oh ok…. I just just curious if you wrote it about Jonquil, and if so who exactly it is that she is seeing.

Me: dude if you want to know about Jonquils relationships, you should ask the people she is having them with.

Mike: EXCUSE ME?

This is where things went downhill…

The last time I talked to Jonquil she had told me that she and Mike were broken up.

Mike obviously hadn’t got the news…. Or the hint… depending on who you believe.

She said that things just weren’t working out and they split up…. blah blah blah

He said they were fixing things but were still together… blah blah blah

I tend to believe Mike.

Because none of Jonquils ex’s that I have ever talked to, knew they were broken up until Jonquil was seeing someone else.

Either they are all really stupid…. Or they were being strung along. In all honesty…. It could go either way.

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t think Mike is an innocent star struck lover, just waiting in hopes that his true love will return to him.

Mike is a dick.
Any man who would be engaged to someone for the sole purpose of using them and their money as a crutch instead of owning up to his own responsibilities is an outright ass… and frankly not worth my time…

Mike seems to be allot like Rome.

Rome was once nothing, just a spec on a map that Persia wanted.

But eventually Rome got a little power, and used that power to conquer lands, which gave them more power. It went on like that for hundreds of years, until Rome was the most powerful empire in the world.

There was nothing out of Rome’s reach… she had everything she could want, her power was absolute.

Yet as we all know… absolute power corrupts absolutely. And through a series of mistakes Rome lost everything she had…. and ended up as just a spec on a map.

Throughout the conversation with mike, he kept saying things like “I’m going to torch all of her shit” and “I am so mad I could blow up the entire state of Florida”.

Yet every strong word he threw around was transparent. You could see through his anger. You could see that in this situation he is weak…. You could see his realization that in this situation he has no upper hand…. There is nothing he can do.

Because he knows that you cannot retain what you love by force.

Mike told me that Jonquil was the only person he wanted. He said that he felt a love for her that could not be described in words… I could tell he was sincere.

Mike isn’t the first person to tell me that.

In fact I have had this exact conversation with just about every one of Jonquils ex-boyfriends.

They have all said the same thing…. “Jonquil was better to me than anyone has ever been… and I don’t know why I lost her”.

I told mike the same thing I told Andy, Reese, and myself. Jonquil has to fall in love with love, before she can fall in love with you. Jonquil needed you, and because she has never felt true love within herself, because she has never loved herself enough to truly love others… she equated that ‘need’ with ‘love’, and so it went until she realized that what she was feeling wasn’t a love for you… but a longing for the love that she could see in herself… but could not attain.

I made sure to tell him that I was sure she wasn’t using him… or at least she may not have thought she was…

But Mike isn’t stupid, he could see that…

1. I had kicked her out and she had no were else to go
2. He was willing to take her in and take care of her

A+B=Used

Although I don’t see why he would be mad about it. We could just as easily say…

1. I have no money and no home
2. Hey! My fiancé has money and a home.

A+B=Used

I was invited to DragonCon.

Jonquil told me not to go… she said that Mike may try to start something with me because he ‘hated’ me with a passion….

Mike told me he hated me…. and he told me why.

He said that during the course of their relationship Jonquil told him these things:

1) I was mentally abusive

2) I beat her

3) I raped her

4) I locked her out of the house

5) I forbid her to go on trips to Florida with me…. because I had a girl there I was cheating on her with

None of this really came as a shock to me… mike is one of five people who have told me this very thing.

Jonquil strongly denies ever saying anything like this.

So who should I believe?

2 close friends
1 person who lives in Georgia and doesn’t know any of the other four
1 of Jonquils friends who doesn’t particularly like me

And 1 person who just overheard Jonquil saying these things to someone she works with?

Or jonquil?

Mike wondered why this news didn’t bother me…

This is what I told him

“out of everyone who has come to me with this… there hasn’t been one person who has believed it, most people think Jonquil is (to quote) “a liar who likes to start rumors in hopes that people will feel sorry for her, but ends up just making herself look bad”.

I told him that I didn’t feel the need to defend myself because people know me well enough to know that the things she has said about me aren’t true.

I want to go on record at this point and say that I didn’t talk to mike about Jonquils current relationships…. This is why:

#1 I don’t know if she is having any.

#2 If she is, it isn’t any of my business, nor do I really care.

I spent most of the night trying to convince Mike not to harm Jonquils stuff.

I think I succeeded…. I think that no matter how much he threatens her stuff… he isn’t dumb enough to actually harm any of it.

Some of you may be asking “why on earth did you talk to either of them in the first place?”

…

I have been asking myself that same question all day, I don’t know the answer.

ok… that had to be the strangest 5 minutes of my life…

sex is really easy, sex is everywhere, it doesn’t really mean to much.

love is the hard thing to find, even if you are looking for it because not to many people are, and even if you found it, which not to many people do… even if it is right there in front of you….

how can you see it with all the sex in the way?