the comedy of failures

try to imagine that you are god…
you have your plans all laid out…. but things just dont seem to go right
when i think about it… i imagine it goes something like this:

“ok, today i think i will create a planet… and populate it with two people….
done…. i have created adam and eve…”
“alright guys… since i created you, i am your lord and master… im going to give you all the freedom you need… you only have one rule… dont eat the fruit off this one tree….”

“Damn… its…only been a couple of days and you already disobeyed me!!!”
“maybe i should just kill you and start over…. nah… ill just kick you out of the garden.
and we will keep on going”

*several years later*

“wow things arent getting better, they are getting worst… now they are murdering each other… rape… slavery… homosexuality… this place is worst than Vegas!… screw it im going to flood this place and save just the best family…
which one of you fuckers is the best?”

“you! Noah! the sorry drunk with three sons , go and build yourself a boat. we will save you and your family… screw everybody else!”

so we flood everything and start over… we hit gods reset button

“ok now that that is over with i want you guys to go and populate the earth again
like the first group that i…. are you drunk again? AND NAKED?!?! well at least your son brought you some clothes… oh no dont curse him to be a fucking slave to all the rest of them, just because he tried to hide your cock!…”

*then a little while later some of them have built this tower*

“hmmm they think they can build this tower to reach me… how arrogant of them…
screw it!
lets confuse all their languages…”

“and instead of having the whole world worship me im just going to pick my favorite tribe ….
hey you guys… you’re my guys… and im going to make all these promises and… wait, what you got enslaved?”
“oh alright well ill do a whole bunch of miracles and lead you guys out of slavery… oh and by the way moses… come up to this mountain i want to talk to you for a minute…”

“here are some rules i think might be pretty good… take them down to my peop…..ARE THEY WORSHIPING ANOTHER GOD ALREADY?!!?!?!”
“….what the hell is wrong with these people”

“WHY CANT I DO ANYTHING RIGHT?!?!?!?!”

“i know what ill do…
ill just kill myself… to myself……”

don’t you think there is something weird going on when you have to sacrifice yourself, to yourself, as a loophole for rules you created?
the bible is a comedy of failures by god.