Today my greatest fears have come true. Today your mother and i split up. This hurts me in a way that i have never been hurt before…. i am in so much pain, so I may ramble a bit, and this letter may be hard to understand at times but i am going to try and explain what has happened these last few months. In October of last year i found out your mother had been having an affair with her old boss. the affair lasted a month after i found out… with your mother repeatedly assuring me that it was over. In November we sent you to stay with your grandmother in Florida, to sort of… separate you from the hostility in the house. Then shortly after you left I found out she was still seeing hr old boss. I found out at 3am… and by 3:30 i was in my truck on my way to Florida to be with you.
I spent about 4 days in Florida… the day after your mothers birthday she told me that she had made a mistake, she said that she wanted us to work things out… she wanted me to come home.
so I did.
It;s important that you know something… before i found out your mother had been cheating, we had never had a fight. Not one argument… things were peachy.
once i got home the fighting began, we had some couples counseling… and that seemed to help for awhile, but deep down i had a lingering feeling that she was still seeing someone.
There were some odd emails, and text messages that i received… all of it pointed to your mother continuing to cheat on me.
I tried to let it go… I tried to get over it, tried to make things work for your sake. It didn’t work.
The fights continued, though much less frequently. Eventually your mother couldn’t deal with it anymore, and we mutually decided to separate.
no… that’s not true.
I hate Anderson SC.
I hate it….
our lives were miserable while we lived here… I was out of work for a very very long time, we were struggling with money… things just weren’t working out.
While i was in Florida with you in November, I was offered a very good job, very well paying job. Enough money where i could provide an amazing life for you, bailey, and your mother. but your mother didn’t want to move to Florida… she didn’t want to leave her job, friends, or her family.
Plus she was understandably scared of the unknown. moving somewhere where she had nothing to fall back on.
regardless… the job offer planted a seed in my mind. Florida was the way to go. Your mother and i talked about it often… and argued about it a little…
sometimes your mother would say she wanted to go… sometimes she would say she wanted to stay.
A few weeks ago you, me, bailey and your mother went to Florida for a little vacation, while we were there i was offered another job. Less pay… but there was the added benefit of security, and yours and baileys happiness…. I’m going to explain that last sentence.
When we all lived together in Anderson, we lived in my grandparents old house. It was a small two bedroom house in the middle of the ghetto. The neighborhood wasn’t horrible, but it was bad enough that we didn’t feel comfortable letting bailey play outside. Because of that the two of you were stuck in this tiny house 24 hours a day. Neither one of you enjoyed it.
Also you really didn’t have any interaction with your mothers family even thought they only lived 20 minutes away. I can count the number of times you have spent the day with your grandma deb on one hand. So far you have spent the night with her twice. On the other hand your Grandma Vicki, or nana or whatever you call her has made a 400 mile trip to see you numerous times, and she and your grandma Marilyn beg us to let you and bailey come up and stay with them for weeks at a time. So far you have done that 4 times. While in Florida you have been to zoos, the beach, had swimming lessons, sea world, disney, you even got your first pair of glasses while you were there.
When we were on vacation in Florida my family poured affection over you and bailey, I saw a happiness in baileys eyes that i haven’t seen in a very long time.
The two of you played, laughed, ran, sang… you even got your first bloody nose (by tripping on a handicap ramp). to put it simply, the two of you had fun for the first time in a long time.
I wanted to be able to give you that joy for the rest of your life. So when that job offer came up i gave your mother an ultimatum. I said that i was going to take the job and move to Florida, with or without her. She chose not to go.
We broke up.
Our family broke up.
and i will be eternally sorry for that.
There were many reasons…. many things led up to this happening. It’s important that you know, that right now, at this moment, I don’t blame any one person for the break up. It isn’t your moms fault, and it isn’t my fault. We are both equally guilty. Had your mother not cheated this would not have happened, yet if I hadn’t dwelt on the cheating so much, and caused so many fights this wouldn’t have happened.
I hope that everything turns out all right. I hope that when you read this you are able to look back at your childhood and remember it fondly. But at this point i can’t guarantee that things will be ok.
Because of me not being able to find work your mother and i are broke. I will be leaving with roughly $750, and will be forced to build a life off of that. Your mother (since she is working) has it a little better… but not much.
I have spent these last few months in misery. Because of the way i found out about your mothers indiscretions, I know many many details about her cheating that i wish i didn’t know. Every time i leave the house i have to drive by this guys house, or his work, or a place the two of them had sex, and it eats away at my mind…. it makes me feel violent. You have to understand that i didn’t see this coming. I never in a million years thought she would cheat on me… until the day i found out, i thought we were a perfect happy couple. The day i found out… my world turned up side down.
I’m sorry Jason.
I can’t live with it anymore.
I need a change.
I hope you understand.
but most of all i hope everything works out for the best.
Your Loving Father,