My new theme song!

Musician has made my my very own 8-bit style theme song!! Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your...

Jehovah’s Witnesses

Despite contrary popular opinion, Jehovah’s Witnesses do believe in Jesus. They don’t on the otherhand believe he is God. They believe that their God Jehovah Raised him up out of the grave. Which means Jehovah’s Witnesses believe in what the scholars call Zombie Jesus. They also believe that Jesus was not nailed to a cross but, to a steak. What type of steak has lead to many near schisms mainly between the T-boners and the Porterhouses. This was settled by President Nathan Homer “ The Simpson” Knorr from a southern state. He officaly declared it to be a chicken fried...

Masters of the Univer….. you’re pregnant eh?

the time is 1999 or so… id just eaten two hits of cheap blotter acid and was watching Dolph Lundgren and Frank Langella duke it out in Masters of the Universe. my girlfriend called just as i was peaking, she said she was pregnant. “what are you going to do?!?!?! how will you raise our child?!?!?” i asked how it was possible since i wore a condom. by this time the Tv was floating, the rug was vibrating, and i was going to be an 18 year old dad. yes i was a hallucinating retard. freaking out, running in circles (which was kinda cool cuz i figured if i ran fast enough i could catch myself) then i ran out into the night where i was chased by babies. babies who rose from the sidewalk, walls, the dirt…. babies everywhere. chasing me. i started to chase and kick the babies. anyway the point of this story is, Masters of the Universe is the greatest movie ever, and she wasnt knocked up after...

Part of me suspects that I’m a loser, and the other part of me thinks I’m God Almighty

heather told me today that I should let out my anger I should vent my frustrations so I’m going to and its going to piss allot of you off George Bernard Shaw once said: No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says: He is always convinced that it says what he means and nothing could be more true this past week I have been quoted one verse from the bible one verse that explains away all peaceful teachings in the bible, all messages of love, hope, forgiveness, and humility. Matthew 10:34 “Don’t imagine that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword!” taking this verse at face value brings an image of god to mind a wrathful god raining fire upon those who oppose him destroying his enemies reading it in context (with a little cross referencing) makes it clear that it is anything but a description of how Jesus is coming into this world or what mentality towards people he wishes to impose on his followers you cant see this scripture and think of it literally its not like Jesus is walking into a cookout saying “hey I come not bringing beer but chicken!!!” the sword is symbolic of the division of the people as a result of hismission the parallel verse is found in Luke 12:53 “Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division.” go… get your bible and read both passagesthey are the same people take their bibles and their religion to seriously every Christian wants...

burns mixtape of love

dear readers, this is Troy, Troy really loves his girlfriend Melissa. really loves her allot so much in fact, for their six month anniversary he made her a 14 minute long message of love. she broke up with him 3 days later, then got a restraining order against him awww you can here his message of love by clicking here troys mix tape of love Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser. Troy’s love inspired me to make my own mixtape… to the person I love most in this world… you can listen by clicking here burns mixtape of love Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your...