I could use some cheetos
OK kid, Here’s the deal
It’s been a few months since your mother and I split up. Since then you and I have moved to Florida, and bounced around between my mothers house… my fathers house… and johns house.
Life has been rough, yet rewarding. You have met new friends, and had experiences you wouldn’t have had if we had stayed in South Carolina. So far I haven’t regretted the move in the slightest.
So… Here is where I need to update you a little bit.
About a month ago i had to go back to South Carolina to solve a problem your mother was having with a friend of hers… During that time i learned that shortly after we left your mother started seeing the man she cheated on me with, again. they built a quasi-relationship, and then she broke up with him… for reasons im sure you will hear about later on… if you ask that is.
Your mother and i started talking… like humans… like adults… something we hadn’t done in a very long time. We laid our issues out on the table and solved a lot of the problems we had been having for the past few years.
Most of those problems had to do with us lying to each other. I had been lying about how i found out your mother cheated on me… and she had been lying about various aspects of their relationship.
We both came clean… We told each other the full truth, and in the process became friends again.
Knowing that most issues were resolved i felt comfortable coming back to Florida… so i packed and prepared to leave… then your great grandfather passed away.
I’m going to stop for a second and tell you some things about your great grandfather… these are things that i never want you to forget.
He loved you, possibly more than he loved anyone else. He once said that you were the only member of the family that hadnt lied to or stolen from him… you made him happy whenever you were around.
Two days before he died i spent a few hours talking with him, he asked about you… looked through some pictures, watched some videos, smiled, laughed… it was amazing. Before I left for the day he asked me to bring him some cheetos.
The last thing my grandfather said to me was “I could use some cheetos”
I spent the next night sitting at the nursing home with him… all night.
Every breath he took scared the shit out of me… i was afraid it would be his last…
Though…
He died the next night… while me, your mother, and her friend bradlee were eating taco bell and talking about bradlees boyfriend, and his commitment issues.
My mother brought you down with her for the funeral… you went to the viewing, and while everyone was crying, you were playing with dale earnhardt and a kyle petty hot wheels cars.
I will never forget the irony of watching you push a dale earnhardt car into the wall of a funeral home.
You met every member of your family that night. Everyone loved you.
I’m getting side tracked… back to my story.
After your great grandfather passed I was forced to stay in South Carolina for a few weeks, and during that time your mother and I decided to try and work out our problems and bring our family back together again.
Your mother decided to move to Florida so that we could all be together, but… the move is going to take her a few months…
So now I am here with you, and she is there with Bailey… and the separation is causing problems.
You see… I still have trust issues… Everyone i talk to says that is completely normal… and i think so too, the problem is my issues are causing me to act very paranoid.. and frankly like an ass.
For a long time during the arguments your mother and I had, I would feel so ashamed of myself… and the situation our family was in, that i would say things that were mean to your mom. I would remind her of what she did, and how it destroyed our family, and how it was all her fault. When in reality… none of that was true.
Relationship problems are never one sided… no one person is ever fully at fault. Our family split up… and that was as much my fault as it was hers… It took me a long time to realize that.
So now i am used to arguments… I expect every one of our conversations to lead to an argument, and i get very defensive. Hell… I start most of our arguments. I don’t mean to… I don’t mean to make your mother feel bad. I’m just sort of used to that. I’m used to her hurting me… then me hurting her back.
Let me tell you this… your mother has hurt enough.
Believe it or not but there was a time in our relationship where your mother and I had never argued… never raised our voices, never even really disagreed.
I want to get back to that point… but before i can do that I need to be able to see your mother the same way i used to. As a beautiful, perfect partner. A strong, kind, and loving mother.
To do that i have to let go of the past.
And as of today… that is what i will do.
God lives in my closet, he protects my data
the past few weeks have been kind of stressful.
due to the weather and unemployment rate in the city there hasn’t been much work for my company to do… which means a little more downtime than i am used to.
its ok though, we can afford for me to take a little off time.
i have been finding little projects to keep me busy, and ensure that i don’t become permanently attached to my computer chair.
in the past few weeks i have:
#1 Restocked and organized the tool shed
#2 Replaced all broken tools
#3 Reorganized the attic
#4 Setup and installed the mobile dyno in the eclipse… with a mounting bracket.
#5 Setup a wireless N+ network with 2 desktops 2 laptops and one JesusPod.
#6 Setup a fully featured file server (appropriately named God) with a stand alone firewall and VoIP server.
#7 replaced the vacuum modulator in the comet… cleaned the card and fuel system. fixed the braked and fuel tank.
# 8 I also learned how to bake Italian twist bread!!!!
# 9 I have also been working on an Image Gallery
and on and on and on.
One good thing about having this time off is that i have finally been able to adjust to, and get used to being a dad.
i can finally say that i enjoy every minute of it…
My mother took Jason and Melissa to have pictures taken a few weeks back, and we have finally gotten them all back.
i can honestly say the past few weeks have been educational and relaxing… but if work keeps going like this we may end up in a bit of trouble.
Read MoreThe sound i love the most.
dear kid,
your grandmother has been here for the past two weeks, and it seems like she picked you up the moment she stepped through the door and didn’t put you down until she left.
i guess you got used to the attention because every time i put you down today you began to cry.
eventually i decided that the two of us should sit down and watch a movie…
so you watched your very first movie with your dad.
Saw 6
then… just as the movie was about to end… you had another first.
you began to giggle…
in fact… at the end of the movie… every time someone screamed you would giggle.
i was so proud.
the sounds of pain and anguish make you giddy… you truly are your fathers son.
your grandmother and i were rummaging through the attic a few days ago and found some shirts that i wore when i was 2 or 3… i imagine you will inherit some of these… because vintage t’s rock…
check them out.
We also thought you might like to use my old crib… apparently my grandmother got so excited when she found out i was going to be born that she had a crib hand made for me… i didnt even know it existed until today, but your grandmother found it at my great aunts house and decided to bring it home… here it is:
About Me
Having grown up in the sweltering Florida heat, George enjoys staying indoors, and air conditioning. A Level 7 Elvish Photoshop Mage with +10 Dropshadow Power, George specializes in visual design & interaction design — two fancy terms he uses to make himself sound important and to explain that he cares about both how things look and how things work.