A black tank top
Black tank top, old jeans, necklace, ring…. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. How could someone like me, end up with someone like her?
There has never been anyone in my life who has shown me what a relationship should be.
My parents marriage failed after something like 16 years. Growing up in that house was hard… we had food… we had money… we had everything I could need….
we also had arguments… we had nights where my mother would wake me in the middle of the night to drive around St. Augustine searching for my father… who inevitably would be huddled around a motorcycle somewhere… or some bar.
I still remember that bar…
I don’t know why we went to that bar that night… but that place still sickens me.
All my grandparents taught me was this: “the man is the head of the household…DONT QUESTION HIM! In fact… don’t even look at him, if you leave him alone he may be civil for the night. And remember no matter what you do… you cant please him”.
I have always hated NASCAR… even as a child. I didn’t see the point of it. These guys drive around in a circle all day? Hell… I could do that. But my grandfather loved it. I remember trying to get into NASCAR just so I could have something in common with him. I remember coming home with boxes of NASCAR trading cards… I would memorize stats from the backs of cards… I would ask him about races… I remember opening one pack of cards and finding an extremely valuable card… the next time I went to see him I took him that card to show him… I remember him yelling at me, calling me a thief… accusing me of stealing the card from him…
it was just a card… a small rectangle made of cardboard.
I remember the manipulation of April.
The deceit of Amiee
The psychosis of jonquil.
The underhandedness of Laura.
I’ve had such a skewed view of love.
And it is all changing because of a black tank top, old jeans, a necklace, and a ring
Now I know that the man takes care of his family, not because he has to… but because he wants to. Because he loves his family… and wants nothing but the best for them. He doesn’t want them to have to worry… because they deserve an easy going life. They deserve honesty, respect, warmth, compassion and understanding.
They say that there is allot to lean from your childhood. They say it shapes you when you become an adult.
Whats the lesson I have learned from my childhood?
Don’t let your childhood shape you…
I hope my son will have all the things that I missed out on.
I hope he will have stability, friends, love, and warmth.
I will do everything I can to provide him with those things… and give him a childhood that he will look back on with pride.
fragile
OK kid so here is the deal….
a little over a week ago you started vomiting; your mother and i weren’t too concerned because it wasn’t a constant thing, once every few feeding you would vomit everything back up. but then… it became something more. after a few days it got to a point where you would throw up everything you were fed.
we got scared…
we made an appointment for you to see your doctor… she told us we shouldn’t worry, it was probably just reflux and it would go away.
it didn’t go away.
so yesterday we took you to the emergency room.
Dr. Swaverly looked after you. she has sort of been a family doctor… it seems like any time your mother sister or i have to go to the E.R. we are seen by Dr. Swaverly.
it didn’t take long for the doctor to make a diagnosis, she feared that you had pyloric stenosis and she scheduled an ultrasound to confirm the diagnosis.
today we brought you to Greenville hospital and had the diagnosis confirmed…
now… let me tell you what pyloric stenosis is
your stomach has a muscle that connects it to your small intestine, and that muscle has become narrow… so the doctor has to go in and split the muscles.
everyone i have spoken to has said that this is a simple surgery… the surgeon that is doing it does about one a day. they say not to worry.
we are still worried.
as soon as we got to the hospital the nurses came to give you an iv and drain whatever fluid you had in your stomach…. this took almost an hour.
apparently you don’t have defined veins….
because of that i would not suggest heroin.
they had to stick you about 7 times in various places on your arms and legs… until finally the nurse supervisor came in and gave you an iv in your head.
they literally put a rubber-band around your skull and then found a vein.
are you curious about what you look like?
i can honestly say that sitting through that was the hardest thing i have ever done… knowing that you were in pain, you didn’t understand why, and i could do absolutely nothing about it.
since then all you have really done is cry. you haven’t eaten in almost 24 hours… and we cant feed you. you cry because you are hungry… and we cant do anything about it… eventually you tire yourself out and fall asleep for a little while.
you are crying again… so I’m going to go try and calm you.
your surgery is set for 9am tomorrow…. good luck little guy.
6oz to freedom
Dear kid,
Today you projectile vomited 6oz of a milk-like substance at me. You missed me but managed to cover your entire face with regurgitated formula. What I’m trying to say is, you need to work on your aim.
God lives in my closet, he protects my data
the past few weeks have been kind of stressful.
due to the weather and unemployment rate in the city there hasn’t been much work for my company to do… which means a little more downtime than i am used to.
its ok though, we can afford for me to take a little off time.
i have been finding little projects to keep me busy, and ensure that i don’t become permanently attached to my computer chair.
in the past few weeks i have:
#1 Restocked and organized the tool shed
#2 Replaced all broken tools
#3 Reorganized the attic
#4 Setup and installed the mobile dyno in the eclipse… with a mounting bracket.
#5 Setup a wireless N+ network with 2 desktops 2 laptops and one JesusPod.
#6 Setup a fully featured file server (appropriately named God) with a stand alone firewall and VoIP server.
#7 replaced the vacuum modulator in the comet… cleaned the card and fuel system. fixed the braked and fuel tank.
# 8 I also learned how to bake Italian twist bread!!!!
# 9 I have also been working on an Image Gallery
and on and on and on.
One good thing about having this time off is that i have finally been able to adjust to, and get used to being a dad.
i can finally say that i enjoy every minute of it…
My mother took Jason and Melissa to have pictures taken a few weeks back, and we have finally gotten them all back.
i can honestly say the past few weeks have been educational and relaxing… but if work keeps going like this we may end up in a bit of trouble.
Read MoreThe sound i love the most.
dear kid,
your grandmother has been here for the past two weeks, and it seems like she picked you up the moment she stepped through the door and didn’t put you down until she left.
i guess you got used to the attention because every time i put you down today you began to cry.
eventually i decided that the two of us should sit down and watch a movie…
so you watched your very first movie with your dad.
Saw 6
then… just as the movie was about to end… you had another first.
you began to giggle…
in fact… at the end of the movie… every time someone screamed you would giggle.
i was so proud.
the sounds of pain and anguish make you giddy… you truly are your fathers son.
your grandmother and i were rummaging through the attic a few days ago and found some shirts that i wore when i was 2 or 3… i imagine you will inherit some of these… because vintage t’s rock…
check them out.
We also thought you might like to use my old crib… apparently my grandmother got so excited when she found out i was going to be born that she had a crib hand made for me… i didnt even know it existed until today, but your grandmother found it at my great aunts house and decided to bring it home… here it is:
About Me
Having grown up in the sweltering Florida heat, George enjoys staying indoors, and air conditioning. A Level 7 Elvish Photoshop Mage with +10 Dropshadow Power, George specializes in visual design & interaction design — two fancy terms he uses to make himself sound important and to explain that he cares about both how things look and how things work.