6oz to freedom
Dear kid,
Today you projectile vomited 6oz of a milk-like substance at me. You missed me but managed to cover your entire face with regurgitated formula. What I’m trying to say is, you need to work on your aim.
God lives in my closet, he protects my data
the past few weeks have been kind of stressful.
due to the weather and unemployment rate in the city there hasn’t been much work for my company to do… which means a little more downtime than i am used to.
its ok though, we can afford for me to take a little off time.
i have been finding little projects to keep me busy, and ensure that i don’t become permanently attached to my computer chair.
in the past few weeks i have:
#1 Restocked and organized the tool shed
#2 Replaced all broken tools
#3 Reorganized the attic
#4 Setup and installed the mobile dyno in the eclipse… with a mounting bracket.
#5 Setup a wireless N+ network with 2 desktops 2 laptops and one JesusPod.
#6 Setup a fully featured file server (appropriately named God) with a stand alone firewall and VoIP server.
#7 replaced the vacuum modulator in the comet… cleaned the card and fuel system. fixed the braked and fuel tank.
# 8 I also learned how to bake Italian twist bread!!!!
# 9 I have also been working on an Image Gallery
and on and on and on.
One good thing about having this time off is that i have finally been able to adjust to, and get used to being a dad.
i can finally say that i enjoy every minute of it…
My mother took Jason and Melissa to have pictures taken a few weeks back, and we have finally gotten them all back.
i can honestly say the past few weeks have been educational and relaxing… but if work keeps going like this we may end up in a bit of trouble.
Read MoreThe sound i love the most.
dear kid,
your grandmother has been here for the past two weeks, and it seems like she picked you up the moment she stepped through the door and didn’t put you down until she left.
i guess you got used to the attention because every time i put you down today you began to cry.
eventually i decided that the two of us should sit down and watch a movie…
so you watched your very first movie with your dad.
Saw 6
then… just as the movie was about to end… you had another first.
you began to giggle…
in fact… at the end of the movie… every time someone screamed you would giggle.
i was so proud.
the sounds of pain and anguish make you giddy… you truly are your fathers son.
your grandmother and i were rummaging through the attic a few days ago and found some shirts that i wore when i was 2 or 3… i imagine you will inherit some of these… because vintage t’s rock…
check them out.
We also thought you might like to use my old crib… apparently my grandmother got so excited when she found out i was going to be born that she had a crib hand made for me… i didnt even know it existed until today, but your grandmother found it at my great aunts house and decided to bring it home… here it is:
the problem with doing things legally…
I am a horror movie junkie.
my whole family knows this. my parents had to put up with me watching movie after movie in my room growing up. Can you imagine how they felt when company came over, only to be greeted by the horrifying screams of young campers coming from my room. the sounds of chainsaws and breaking bones… blood squirting everywhere… i would imagine our guests felt a little uneasy…
i havent had a chance to watch the new Friday the 13th movie… so you can image the excitment i felt when i unwrapped a copy of Friday the 13th killer cut this christmas.
the DVD came with a downloadable Digital copy, which i thought was cool because i could put it on the hard drive in my car and not have to carry the movie around with me.
so i followed the instructions to download the digital copy…
#1 Go to www.wbdigitalcopy.com/fridaythe13th
#2 When prompted enter the authorization code below.
C2XMTTK63V92
#3 Follow the instructions to download your movie.
once i got to the site my dreams of a legal digital copy were crushed… i was greeted by this message
AN EXPIRATION DATE?!?! Why the fuck would a digital copy offer expire?
i did some digging and found out that the digital copy offer expired on Sept 10th 2009. this information wasnt on the DVD case… it was buried in the fine print of the Digital Copy insert.
whats more is the DVD wasnt released until June 10th 2009… which means the Digital Copy offer was only valid for 3 months!
Why do movie companies fuck everything up? Warner Brothers have hyped up the Digital Copy as a way to fight piracy… they say that if given the option customers will choose the legal download over a pirated download… and that is true… if the legal download is available.
i contacted WBDC customer support to voice my concerns…
the rep said:
rep: im sorry sir that offer has expired, unfortunatly there is no way for you to get a digital copy now.
Me: Wanna bet?
The Truth
Dear Kid,
Congratulations, you are now four days old.
let me tell you how you came into this world.
on Dec 5th at about 9pm your mother started having contractions… they were around 5 minutes apart… and didn’t hurt very badly, so she decided to sleep them off and see how things were the next morning. you weren’t due until Dec. 26th so we weren’t worried to much… we figured she was having braxton hicks contractions, and that everything would have stopped by the morning…
they didn’t.
so on the morning of the 6th we headed to the hospital.
after the doctors checked your mother out they decided that it would be better for her to labor at home for awhile… so they sent us away with some pain meds and told us to come back if things got worst.
well… things eventually got worst.
about 9pm we headed back to the hospital.
your mothers contractions were happening so fast, it seemed that a new one would start before the last was over.
the doctors gave your mother an epidural and told her to get a little rest… they said that you wouldn’t be coming until early the next morning… they said that they would be back around 2 to check her cervix and see how much longer it would be.
the nurse came back at 12:30, check your mother, found out she was at 9cm and her water had broke.
you were coming sooner than we thought.
i ran outside to make all of the phone calls… my mother and father, melissas mother, i sent text messages to all of my friends, then i ran back up to the room.
by the time i got back there were people everywhere… everyone was set up and your mother was already pushing.
ten minutes later you were born.
curious what happened when you were born?
well here you go.
This link shows some inline content in a FancyBox window
after that the nurses took you to clean you up. i went outside and had a cigarette and sent a text to all my friends.
the text said:
“ITS ALIVE!!! jason dean ward 5lb 10oz”
it was about 1:30am when i got back into the room… and since your mother and i had been up for two days straight we both promptly went to sleep.
i spent the next day taking pictures and running errands. between the doctors and running around i didn’t really get to spend much time with you.
4:00pm
that’s when the call came in.
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i didnt get back to the hospital until 11:00pm.
well… i just went to sleep.
the next day was a blur… running errands, and keeping your mom happy was my number one concern. the doctors were worried that you weren’t eating enough, in three days you lost 5oz… so they decided to keep you in the hospital an extra day.
the morning that they sent you home, we packed you in the car and turned on a beatles album…
the first song you ever heard was ‘here comes the sun’
we rode around for awhile showing you off to some of the people i grew up with.
first you saw Mrs. Hill, she was a lady that lived next door to my grandparents for 30 years or so.
then you saw my grandfather.
you and papa
i asked him what he thought of you and he said “he looks strong and healthy… which is good because soon hes going to have to find a job.”
the man has a strange sense of humor.
when we left my grandfather melissa got a call from her mother… apparently her sister had found lice on baileys head and they needed me to drive back to rock hill to pick her up.
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this pretty much wraps us your first few days on earth…
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Read MoreHave Yourself a Merry Little Mixtape
fuck christmas.
download Burnstyle.net’s 2009 Christmas Mixtape!
kthxbye
Read MoreAbout Me
Having grown up in the sweltering Florida heat, George enjoys staying indoors, and air conditioning. A Level 7 Elvish Photoshop Mage with +10 Dropshadow Power, George specializes in visual design & interaction design — two fancy terms he uses to make himself sound important and to explain that he cares about both how things look and how things work.