well…

its hard to find the words to describe tiffany. beautiful, funny, caring… words don’t seem to be enough.

she likes: rain, stomachs, guitars, the beach, amusement parks, baseball, summer, hibiscus, green and pink, piercings, tall guys, Legos, Batman, the number 10, old stuff, really hot bubble baths, slowdances, Mitch Hedberg, cartoons, Nintendo, Toad (the mushroom from Mario), playing cards especially spades, crushed ice, winter sunsets, volkswagons, guitar hero, chocolate milkshakes, buying presents for no reason, song lyrics, karaoke, fireworks, holding hands, unexpected kisses, missed text messages after work, flip flops, trucker hats, voices like Frank Sinatra, Rivers Cuomo, or Bradley Nowell(very different voices, but all sexy), dry humor, summer nights, city lights at night, laughing, deep conversations, randomness, lip biting, one sided grins, winks, kisses on my neck, being in someone’s arms, shopping, cute/sexy undies/pajamas, having my hair played with, black and white pictures, kittens, ripped jeans, outside concerts, road trips, being called baby, cuddling, soft sweet kisses, closed-eyed kisses, Atlanta Braves and Boston Red Sox, eyes, USC Gamecocks, Ryan Reynolds, Vince Vaughn, candy necklaces, Kevin Smith, art, collages, Christopher Walken, Matthew Lillard, dorkiness, psycholog.

she dislikes: me

fuck…

get used to her… she will be talked about more frequently.

just a lil note to let you know that i thought of you for so long i decided to read your blog archives, then i realized that i miss and love you and i hate that we dont talk as much as we used to, but even through it all, basically, i just wanted to tell you that your always in my heart and to let you know that whenever you feel down and like you have no one, you can always turn to me, just like you have always been able to since the very day we met. LOVE YOU!!!
Aline <3

i needed that Aline… thank you

i love you too

kthxbye

My thoughts don’t make any sense anymore.
My actions are pitiful.
Why is it that when I’m not interested in a girl, I have no problems interacting with her?

Words, actions, and situations seem to flow out of me in such a way that Eloise and Abelard would be envious. Being eloquent has never been an issue for me. I am known for my ability to talk my way into and out of any situation. Be it a problem, a relationship… whatever.

But lately it seems my desire to respect the relationships of others is becoming an obstacle.
I was walking around the mall with Rebecca and this other girl we will call Tiffany…
We will call her that because that is her name.

I met Tiffany a month or so ago at Claire’s and I made the mistake of making this remark to Rebecca
“That Tiffany chick is fucking gorgeous!”
You may be thinking to yourself “now George you say shit like that all the time”
And you would be correct…. Thought this time it was alittle different… because she actually WAS fucking gorgeous… I would steal a pic from her myspace to prove it… but I cant be bothered to look for her myspace.

I may have a newfound respect for relationships… but I’m still lazy.

This is where the issue came in… Rebecca told Tiffany what I said… then Rebecca told me that she told Tiffany.
In the past this wouldn’t have been a problem for me. I have never cared whether or not someone in a relationship knew I found them attractive… but for some reason I do now… I cant explain why.

Now every time I am around this girl I turn into a blubbering idiot.

Since I know that she knows I find her attractive, I over analyze every word I say to make sure that I am not flirting… I don’t want to flirt because I don’t want to cause a rift in her relationship… even though I know full well that would never happen. Because of this I think I blew her off today… I’m not sure how she took it… I was very nervous.

Is all of this confusing you yet?

Good… because it’s been confusing me for months.

Has the fact that I have lived so much of my life as a flirt finally caught up to me?
Or after being in such a long relationship have I forgotten how to be a friend?

Where is that warm middle?

I have also noticed that I tend to blow off chances at relationships. If it looks like I could actually enjoy the company of someone, I seem to blow her off.

Here is another example:

There is a girl that works at the movie store that we will call Jill.
We will call her Jill because I can’t remember her name at the moment.
Everytime I go into the store she gives me the sweetest compliments.
But it never goes beyond that

Her: you look so cute in that shirt!

Me: thanks…. Later.

Am I afraid of commitment? I don’t think I am… I dream of having a love like Odysseus and Penelope
But does that exist outside of mythology?
Have I fell victim to Don Juan syndrome? Am I going to die still looking for the perfect woman?
And if the perfect woman doesn’t exist, is dying still looking for her worth it?

I have always said that failed romances were just distractions while you looked for the perfect person…
It used to be an original thought that made women go ‘AWWWW’ until rascal flats made that fucking broken road song…

But is it really true?
Are they distractions or are they preparations.
Short lived time killers preparing you for the inevitable… that this may be the best you will ever find… and slowly teaching you to settle for second best.

“we can smell our own” she said, for the most part.

in most situations that is true… but currently… not so much.
when jonquil called the other day and told me about a problem she was having transitioning from tech to QA at work, i told her i would ask around and try to find a solution for her, never thinking that the person who would tell me how to fix it was staying in a hotel 5 miles away.

so here is your quick and easy fix.

‘you have pulled a jq (ie you have been shortsighted… not paid attention, and ran head first into a brick wall) stop, breath, reassess your situation… look around and approach your problem from a different angle’. dont be so quick to jump into things. you may think that running passionately into another position, and telling people how much you love it is endearing, i assure you the people in the other department are put off by it.
remember you may think that the couple of times you were placed in that position is a sign that they want you there…. but it could be quite possible that they just needed someone to fill that position… anyone… and you were the easiest person for the transition.
Mabey they have someone else in mind, but for one reason or another that person was unavailable.

so… slowly fix the issues with your current position, before EASING your way into another…. or you will go nowhere fast.
no one wants extreme passion AND/OR baggage from another department.

the day started out like any other.

the following is based on a true story, the names and dates have been changed to protect the innocent.

sylvia, james, leslie and i went to logans… had some steak, then joes for some coffee…. we ended at corbitts drinking jamesons, and walking head first into a nick hornby book.

List the first ten bands to go on your ipod
1 Jacks Mannequin
2 the almost
3 Flyleaf
4 the Wedding
5 Me first and the gimme gimmes
6 Pm Dawn
7 Frank Sinatra
8 Johnny Cash
9 My chemical romance
10 Gym class heroes

Corbitts’ monday night bartender happens to be the Anderson Independent Mail entertainment columnist.
who knew that a trip to the pub could land you in the newspaper…
from there to maui for a corona.
and from maui to a nice two hour adventure in a strange bed.

there was a very very long section of text here describing the night and how i felt about it… but its none of your business… i made it private

at maui, i was asked how many people i have slept with.
my default answer for the last 3 years has been
14

1 april
2 ashley
3 krystal
4 that one girl from satsuma
5 ami
6 jonquil
7 tina
8 alesha
9 morgan
10 laura
11 ashley
12 that girl from interlachen
13 keri
14 Suzzanne

i think thats the list…. frankly i have forgotten

this list needs ammending

15 kara
16 angela
17 ashley
18 aatje
19 she who shall not be named

it has been said that i am a whore…
thats true enough i guess, but a wise man (ie big nat) once said “until you are 30 you should have a strange woman in your bed every night”.

i am tired of the games, the fake relationships, the false caring.

i watch friends throw themselves into other peoples arms… give themselves away completely, only to have their souls crushed in the end.

Yaritza is a prime example

i dont know exactly what happened… but i do know that someone as smart and funny, caring and beautiful as her does not deserve to be heartbroken.

im still drunk… by the way.

i should prolly stop typing now.

the next time you want to break into some christian body builders house to fix your TV, count me out.

burn <3′s ice cream sammiches!