Posts Tagged "melissa"

So apparently Melissa is going to have a kid.

Posted by Burn on Apr 18, 2009 in kid, melissa | 2 comments

it seems Melissa and I are having a child.
she came home today and showed me a pregnancy test one of her friends bought for her… it was positive.
she says she is about 4 weeks along, so im guessing soon we will be scheduling a doctors visit.
a quick google search finds that these things will be checked.

Physical exam: this should go pretty quick… i mean… she has two arms.. two legs… fingers toes… boobs… its all pretty normal.
Pelvic exam: she has one of these and apparently it works rather well.
Complete Blood Count: she has 6 quarts of blood.
HIV test: this had better be negative.
Urinalysis: i assume she has urine, her life would be difficult without it.

all in all im excited about all of this… i mean the fact that i created a tiny dragon in someones uterus is fucking awsome. lets just hope it doesnt turn out like me… a child so evil that it will rip through the uterine wall in an attempt to find cheap hookers and cold beer.

apparently melissa wants a kid

Posted by Burn on Apr 2, 2009 in melissa | 1 comment

apparently Melissa wants to have my child….
this scares the shit out of me, mainly because i feel i would be a horrible father…

here are some reasons why i feel that way:
today when i came home from work…
i played Rock Band for an hour
i played skate 2
i bought a new headset
i watched the hills have eyes… and cried when the mutants died…

if we are being honest i would prolly make a pretty cool dad, to a son.
and i wouldnt mind being one.

blah, blah, blah… get the fuck over it.

Posted by Burn on Jul 22, 2008 in fairplay, jonquil, melissa | 0 comments

im sick of fairplay. every time i go back there i have to hear the “jonquil fucked this guy” stories.
this time however, one of the nice citizens of fairplay decided to give the guy my number.

ugh… whatever

I’m tired of hearing about jonquil

tired of hearing about what she did while she was with me… tired of hearing what she did after me.

those are six years of my life i would rather just forget.

no matter how many times i have said this people still don’t get it, so let me spell it out for you.
I COULD CARE LESS ABOUT WHAT JONQUIL HAS DONE, IS DOING, OR WILL DO!
jonquil is married with a kid now…
and i am with a girl for whom i care very deeply, and (to be quite honest) our relationship is infinitely greater than mine and jonquil’s could have ever hoped to have been.
Melissa is smart, sexy, strong, trustworthy, dependable, she has her own car… job… life… house.
she doesn’t use me as a crutch, she doesn’t depend on me to get through her day…
and i genuinely relish in every waking minute i get to spend with her.
i used to feel that i would never find someone who could keep up with me, who enjoyed being around me, who truly could care about me.
Melissa has proven me wrong.
she really is everything that i have ever wanted in a person.

so please… leave me the fuck alone about jonquil
i don’t have the time, the energy, or the interest to worry about her anymore.